It seems a long, soft struggle (no pun intended), to get rid of the baby weight from my surrogate pregnancy. I could think of a thousand reasons possibly why, but in short, it just really doesn't matter. I have a husband who loves me, thinks I am beautiful and sexy and I feel good about myself.......
BUT, I have longed to be the thin woman that I am most accustomed to. After having five babies, I am finding it hasn't been as easy to get it together fitness wise. Yet, I have let myself linger in healing. No matter how long or in what capacity the need has shown itself. I would have never guessed how difficult the surrogacy would have been on me.
For the last two months, I have been enjoying reaching out of my normal mode of connecting to my body. I have been doing Zumba, which really isn't new to me as I did teach it for a while before the last baby. But, the fast paced, cardio intensity has been just what I have needed to let lose physically. All the while, there has been a deep disinterest in my yoga, compared to normal at least. As a teacher and practitioner, it has been almost a decade of focus. After quitting my relationship with the studios that I managed, I have felt free to walk away from my mat. Now that I am gearing up to open my own studio, i have known that a focused study would be good for me physically and inspirationally, as I will be teaching a lot again. What I didn't know is that the craving, the drive, the desire would show up just when it needed to.
I now, am finding myself in that familiar place of craving the asanas. Craving the strain and surrender that only they can bring and again deeply appreciating the secret wisdom that I find on my mat; in my yoga. All I can say is, AHHHHH, hello Tara :-)
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